We’ve all been there. That moment when we go to our first party. It could be in high school, or college, or even an office party. Usually parties go something like this: loud music, high density of people, free flowing booze, various types of smoke, and just really loud voices. If you’re an introvert who is absolutely not used to this type of scene, don’t worry. I’ve got your back. You’ll never again be feeling left out amidst these talkative and self confident lifeforms we call extroverts.
If you’re an introvert like me, your scene is a lot quieter. Any place where you can chill in peace is your dream plan for Friday night. At least, it’s mine. But as it happened so often to me in college, one night, you decide to try out the socialite life for yourself and go to a party and see what’s so fun about it. Or your ultra-extroverted friends dragged you there, swearing up and down it’s gonna be the most fun you’ve ever had. Naturally, you’re skeptic, but before you know it, you’re standing at the door to the house party at some random dude’s house, surrounded by people you’ve never seen before. It’s sweaty and loud and confusing. Oh, and your friends? Nowhere to be seen.
Take a deep breath. Don’t panic.
Don’t panic. You’ve been left to your own devices and you have no idea what to do and how to act. You’re fine, though.
This… is probably very overwhelming. DO NOT PANIC. I understand that the ratio of space to mass in this tiny room is way higher than you’d prefer. I also understand that there is absolutely no place to stand without having at least three people remaining in contact with your skin at all times. This really doesn’t seem very fun,does it? It’s alright. In situations like these, take a deep breath. And try not to inhale any of the smoke from god knows what.
…Smells bad here, doesn’t it? I guess being in a tiny room with forty people at the least dancing against each other generates a lot of stink-sweat. But hey, on the bright side, you’ve managed to calm down. That’s for the best, socially extroverted people can apparently smell fear, from what I’ve heard. We’ve all seen that poor guy in a group who can’t speak because he’s afraid of saying something wrong, promptly taken notice of by the rest of the talkative social people who pounce of the poor kid and start talking to him in their boisterous, self confident voices. I don’t think the extroverts mean any harm, they probably think they’re trying to help him open up. Of course, that’s never what happens. Instead, the poor guy just gets so overwhelmed, he runs off crying. Or maybe I exaggerate, but I seriously hope you’ve calmed down. Yeah? Good. Let”s move on to the next step.
Find your corner.
First of all, don’t scoff at me. Yes, its possible to find some space for yourself within this pile of bodies. Yes, it does miraculously offer some protection from the growing pile off people where you won’t have to touch them (much). And no, you can’t stay there all night.
Every party’s got corners. These are usually resting spots. When the party-goers get tired of dancing, they usually retire to a spot away from the middle of the room, which is the designated dance floor. Take another deep breath, you’ll need it. It’s time to push and shove your way to the nearest wall, through the dance floor.
I know you dread it, but well come back to the dance floor again, so its a good time to analyse the area and possible emergency exits. It’s easier to navigate the crowd if you dance and shuffle your way through. This might be the awkwardest thing you’ll ever do, but it works. Once you’ve reached the wall, you’ll find that there is some room to breathe and move about, which is what I’d call a minor miracle. You’ll also notice plenty of people standing around. Take note of them, you’ll have to talk to a few. It’s the normal thing to do. Don’t worry, these are tired people, and easy to converse with. They wont talk much, but since these are extroverts, they will also easily keep the conversation flowing. Goodness knows how they do it. This brings us to the next step:
Get your own group
Get yourself a drink, with our without alcohol, that doesn’t matter. Do not get drunk though, you need to stay sharp. remember, you just need the hydration and holding a drinks cup is a sign that you’re possibly already drunk and very approachable. The extroverts easily include anyone with any similarities into their inner circle, and that is what we aim for.
Your goal is to spot out a guy or girl on the dance floor who’s with a big group. Wait for one of them to get tired and leave the dance floor, tired and drunk. Next, casually talk to them, and that is it. All you have to do is say you’re new, that you love to party, but that you don’t know anyone here. Make sure to look genuinely sad about it. This prompts the extrovert, which is a highly friendly and overly helpful species, to introduce you to their group of friends. And mission accomplished. Now you have a whole group of people to hang around, so it won’t be as awkward as being alone in a corner and being scared of getting judged as a social pariah. Now that you’ve blended in perfectly with the extroverts, it’s time to get to the next step.
Really? Must I guide you through this as well?
Look. You’ve come a long way, my friend. But you’re on your own for this.
Don’t even think of backing out, because by some unwritten law, its mandatory to dance at parties, even if you make a fool of yourself.
You’re probably gonna suck, but it’s probably gonna be okay. Maybe. And when you’re done, its time for the final step.
Well, well, well. So you didn’t suck at dancing as much as you thought you would, your new friends adore you, you’ve maintained healthy hydration levels so far, successfully blended in with the exroverted lifeforms and, hey! This really wasn’t as much of a disaster as we both expected!
Parties are a lot to take in at first. It literally overwhelms all your senses and leaves you dazed, and ugh, what terrible music. But you’ve gone through the motions, you have all the cards in your hand and now, it’s time to just have fun. You can let you secret wild side out and no one’s going to judge you. They probably wont even notice you, they’ll be too busy doing stupid things of their own. Remember, at parties, if you do something stupid, there’s probably a drunk person in some corner doing something even stupider. With this token of wisdom, it’s time I part with you.
Remember to be safe, not do anything you don’t want to do, go crazy but for the love of god, don’t be known as the psycho of the party. And remember to keep studying the extroverts, there’s probably loads we can learn from these amiable and loud lifeforms.